Heybabeimwearingurpanties
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
