bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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