Can i not drive my cunt home
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
