Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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