he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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