New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
