with your own penis?
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
