i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
do herpes really smell.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
