You just made me feel so damn special
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
