I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
