so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
