the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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