my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
