My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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