...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I don't deserve a penis
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
