I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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