He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize