She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
