I'm drive I can fine osifer
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
