this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
