1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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