I CAN MOONWALK!
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
