clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
