about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
