:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
