I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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