Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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