im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
im about as happy as oj after his trial
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
