I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
