that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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