i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
