Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Randomize
