She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
