i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
