One girl and one boy is just not enough.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Randomize
