And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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