at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
