nut hugger
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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