Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
