Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
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