i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
