dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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