omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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