I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
