I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize