ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Randomize
