You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Randomize
