I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
