How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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