the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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