I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I deserve this hangover.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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