fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
