Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
My vagina just recognized that song.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
