She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
