they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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