do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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