question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
don't judge my taste in strippers
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
