No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
