okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Randomize
