She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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